Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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