im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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