id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
