I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Two words: nipple clamps
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