Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
worst night to have a conscience
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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