found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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