also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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