I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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