just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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