I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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