can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
