I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
