Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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