did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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