He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
