for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Randomize
