i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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