I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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