Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
