Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize