Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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