Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
the night ended with taco bell and tears
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
