Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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