The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
