I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
