I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
