I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
