i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
