bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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