the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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