i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
