Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
