I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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