He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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