You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
