She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
