What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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