do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We left an ass print on the piano.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
