actually, I'm a sock model
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My liver just had a heart attack.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
