I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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