She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
