I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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