so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
