i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
