elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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