the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
