drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
