And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
