This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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