Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
