When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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