Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize