My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
