the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
