There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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