My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
