I wish I could teleport
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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