Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
