is your mom at the bar?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize