It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
