my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
