YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
