I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
