Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
