Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
