Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
