Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
