wrigley field is MILF paradise
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he puts the penis in happiness.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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