I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
